So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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