i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
