Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
