I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
