I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
