I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
