I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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