Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
