Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm passing your future prison.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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