Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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