This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
