I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
