You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
