there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
