you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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