R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
