I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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