I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
