And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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