How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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