wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
