Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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