when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
