and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
