Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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