508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
