So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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