why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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