Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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