How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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