with your own penis?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
