ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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