i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
