there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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