Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
