why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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