After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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