Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
