How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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