Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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