we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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