and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
