IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
