what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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