He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
