worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
