Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
