I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
