is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize