that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
