I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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