if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
