he laminated a picture of his dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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