i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just tell him i said nine months
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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