You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
