i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
