I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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