Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
