I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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