3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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