Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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